Respect and conformity are often confused especially when it comes to children. Smacking a child into submission just because they don't do what you want or don't say what you want to hear is simply not acceptable. What does that teach a child - respect? No! How could anyone respect another person who hits them? Translate that for a moment into an adult world. Imagine what that would look like?
Things have changed. Every generation changes, the challenges they face change as do our responses to them. In today's world, employers seek innovation, creation, "thinking outside the box", problem solvers. How do you think adults learn these skills? By questioning, trying, experimenting, thinking - and this all begins in childhood. Constant conformity will not equal success by any measure in todays society.
“The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow.” - Jim Hightower.
No, this doesn't mean that kids should be allowed free reign to do as they please and yes, it is still a parents job to help them distinguish between right and wrong. Hitting a child is an easy way out. You as a parent don't have to invest anything other than physical exertion.
The hard, TRUE work of parenting comes in setting boundaries, evaluating why you as the parent set those boundaries, supporting your child in their disappointment when their expectations do not meet yours and (heaven forbid!) reflecting if your decision or expectation is actually true and valid. That's the hard, meaningful work of parenting. Your job is to guide a human being to reach their full potential. Not to limit their potential by following mindlessly what has gone before.
Become a mindful parent. Educate yourself on child development, learn the impact of various popular parenting strategies. Don't just do it because it was done to you and you "turned out alright." If you hit out of anger, learn how to control yourself - what are your triggers, what pushes your buttons. Arm yourself with this information and be mindful of these in each situation you face with your child.
Empower your child to be all that they can be and more - it’s our hope for the future.
Yep, obviously this hit a nerve with me. I’d love to know your thoughts.